5 things i dont like about malay weddings

1. its rather annoying and disrespectful when the bride and groom arrives awfully late. like if the makan makan starts at 12 noon, i think it is just wrong if the celebrated couple turns up at the kenduri at like, 3pm? during my wedding 3 years ago we were specifically told by my mother to be at the reception by 12 noon, the peak hour when the guests start arriving. we were told to salam, meet and greet EVERY single guest that came to our wedding as token of appreciation.

2. it is also annoying and disrespectful when bride and groom choose to do their photoshoot DURING the makan makan. the guests really have to make an effort to get inside the already packed house to meet the bride and groom, if they are lucky. most of the time the pengantin will probably be locked in their room for the photoshoot session. i personally think that this can and should be done before or after the reception took place.after all dont we have this pre-wedding and outdoor photoshoot?photoshooting during the reception should only be for the photos of the pengantin WITH the guests.

3. i understand that due to space limit  and time flexibility, guests at malay weddings usually eat at their own convenience, whether instantly upon arriving or before they leave. it is normal for guests to come and go as they eat, and the food is served buffet style. i wish they didn't do it like this during my wedding. i wish it was done properly like they do in western wedding, where every guests are assigned their own seat, everybody sat together and say their prayers and wishes for the pengantin before everybody starts eating.

4. again, problem number 3 arises possibly because they number of guests invited is rather too large. the normal number of guests for a malay wedding usually exceeds 1000 to 2000. i think the person who should get invited to your wedding are those who actually know you personally, not just some random or mutual acquitance who MAY or may not know you. kawan kepada sepupu ipar pengantin should not be in your guest list if you know what i mean.

5. im not sure if anyone would agree with this, but i think wedding gifts (hadiah hantaran) between the bride and groom should not be displayed for the public. same applies with the amount of dowry the bride gets, it should not be revealed except between close family members. When i was getting married, i had this idea of putting all the gifts i bought for my future husband into these beautifully covered traditional wooden box, but my mother and a few other relatives were so againts it i had to forget the whole plan. My reason for not displaying the gifts: no 1, it should be a surprise, something that only the receiver knows, and reason number 2, it can lead riak (showing off).

truth is, i cant wait for the day when my daughter gets married and have her wedding reception. i wont interfere with her planning, but i sure will guide her to make sure the above mentioned 5 things can be prevented or avoided.